Trying to find peace

12 DPO today and still BFNs. Yesterday I did have a positive Wondfo. Like no squinting to see the line even though it was still faint. However, it didn't get that dark until after 10 minutes and I figured it was an evap. It apparently was because I had a BFN this morning. I'm trying to find peace in my situation now. Me and DH are planning a cruise for next November and I love planning trips so I'm able to divert my attention to that. He asked "but what if you're pregnant/we have a baby", but I told him we won't even think about that. If it happens then it happens but I'm tired of basing my life around that possibility. Yesterday was pretty tough, lots of tears and emotions. AF should be here either Friday or Sunday depending on how long my LP is this month. We're definitely taking a month or two off for now. DH's SA got rescheduled for Monday, so we won't know the results of that for a while. I'm just trying to forget it all and be happy.