Ending 2017... and Begining 2018

The end of 2017 is rapidly approaching and I can't say I'm sad about it. It's by far been the hardest year of my life. From trying to adjust to married life, to discovering our infertility and dealing with that, I've cried more this year than probably most of the other years of my life combined. I've spent probably hundreds of dollars on pregnancy tests, OPKs, and apps to help track my ovulation. We've already spent almost $2,000 on fertility treatments and we haven't even started the real process yet. I was expecting to be able to start IVF in just 1-2 weeks form now, but now it's pushed off until February. I feel like all of 2017 has been a long waiting game. Waiting to see doctors, waiting for tests results, waiting to see if Clomid worked; it's just really sucked.

I'm excited for 2018. I hope with all of my heart that I end 2018 with a baby in my arms, or at the very least, a baby in my stomach. Trying to conceive is not fun. It really sucks and takes all the fun out of marriage at times. I'm trying to learn to enjoy this time with just my husband and to not think constantly about how bad I want to be a mom.

I hope baby dust falls on all of us infertiles this new year, and that we all find happiness no matter what happens.

Tubal Disease? Say what?

I called my local RE to let them know that DH was back to 0 viable sperm again and we would most likely be going back to donor sperm IUI in February if his next test shows the same thing. They then decided to finally tell me that the doctor recommends I still move straight to IVF, because apparently during my laparoscopy he noticed I have a tubal disease called salpingitis isthmica nodosa or SIN for short, which lowers my success rates for IUI and increases my risk for an ectopic pregnancy. I was so shocked as he never mentioned this to me or my husband after my surgery, not even at my post-op appointment.

The only slightly silver lining to doing donor sperm was that it would be cheaper ($2,000 per try versus $9,000). But now, we have to do the more expensive option plus use a donor which I'm still having a hard time coming to grips with again. It all just really sucks.

We do have a donor picked out. We plan on doing one last semen analysis next month and then make a decision. If his count stays at basically 0, we will do IVF with donor sperm. We'll go ahead and have him give a sample just in case by some miracle he has sperm on the day of retrieval.

I'm so tired of bad news

We got DH's 4th semen analysis results. 0 sperm again. I'm so frustrated and broken. I don't understand why he had 800,000 just one month ago and now he's back to 0. He's still been taking his medicine every day. I just don't get it. I have no idea where we're going from here.

An IVF update... plus expected IVF costs

I have a couple of IVF updates. First, DH did his fourth semen analysis on 12/8. We had to trek through the snow to do that, which wouldn't be a big deal for most people, but we live in Louisiana so it was a huge deal for us. We will receive those test results on 12/15. This will determine if: A. The Clomid has stopped working and we have to go back to the donor sperm route, B. The Clomid has increased his counts enough that we can try naturally for a while or do IUI, or C. His counts are still around the same as last time and we will proceed forward with our IVF plans.

We of course expect it to be option C, which is fine now that we've already come this far. We are saving every bit of money that we can for IVF and we are just ready to start a family.

Our second update is that my local RE is insisting upon me getting a follow-up ultrasound before they will monitor me for my out-of-state IVF cycle. The problem is, they can't do the ultrasound until CD 6-10 of my next cycle, which overlaps with when I should be starting IVF stims.

However, my amazing New York RE is allowing me to take birth control for about a week after my next cycle starts to give me time to do the ultrasound and then start stims immediately after. I'm very happy with this solution!!


Now on to the "fun" stuff - insert sarcasm here. IVF costs a crazy amount of money as most people know. My local RE is great, but he's very, very expensive. Here are the costs if I did IVF locally:

Cycle Cost including ICSI: $15,200.00 (includes 1 retrieval and 2 transfers if the first doesn't work)
Pre-Cycle Tests: $1,200.00
Medications: $3,000.00 (estimated)
Total: $19,400.00

We just can't swing that, and even if we could, that's a LOT of money! So I searched elsewhere and stumbled upon CNY Fertility Center. Now I've read some less than stellar reviews on their success rates, but for their amazing price, I can do 2 cycle there for less than the price of 1 cycle locally so I feel like it's a gamble I'm willing to take. Here are the estimated costs for doing IVF in New York:

Cycle Cost: $3,900.00 (includes 1 retrieval and unlimited free FETs for up to one year after your retrieval)
Pre-Cycle Tests: $150.00 (they let me waive almost all of the testing)
Monitoring: $1,000 (doing this at my local RE)
Medications: $2,100.00 (they let me order from overseas which saved a ton of money!)
Travel: $1,500.00 (this includes flights, hotel room, food, car rental, etc.)
Total: $8,650.00

This is still a lot of money obviously, but I'm saving almost $11,000!!! We have been saving every bit of money that we can, including asking our families to just give us money for Christmas and getting a loan from a family member. But it's all going to be worth it!

One step closer to starting IVF

So my body decided to be completely crazy and start my period a whole 8 days early! Not sure what happened, but I'm assuming it's still messed up from the surgery. Anyways, this means if I have a normal month long cycle, that I'll be starting IVF in less than a month now!! It really hit me today and now I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed.

DH has another semen analysis tomorrow to make sure nothing has changed on that part. So unless he either has 0 count again or his count has drastically went up, I'll be ordering medications once we get his results back and making travel arrangements.

IVF Medications Explained

Even though I'm still approximately 42 days away from beginning my IVF medications, I've already begun to research the best pricing and purchasing the ones that are covered by my insurance since I have 100% coverage through the rest of the year. I'm super Type A and research and spreadsheets just make me so happy. I'm actually planning on ordering 4 of my medications from overseas to save money. Here is my list of medications with prices:

5 Gonal-f 450 Pens - $1,250.00 (saved approx. $869.50)
10 Menopur vials - $270.00 (saved approx. $559.00) (I am using the generic brand - Merional)
6 Cetrotide boxes - $330.00 (saved approx. $261.30)

I will be ordering these medications from IVFmeds.com soon. In all I will save about $1,689.80!!! That's a lot of money that can go towards the actual IVF cycle!

I will be ordering the Lupron trigger from Cornerstone Pharmacy for $118.00.

I also have to order some more medications from my local pharmacy. All but one (PIO) are covered by my insurance at 100%.

63 Prometrium capsules (the generic for Endometrium progesterone capsules) - $40.00
60 Estradiol capsules - $10.00
10 Doxycycline capsules - $15.00
60 Prednisone capsules - $10.00
1 tube of vaginal antibiotic gel (generic for Cleocin) - $35.00
32 Prograf capsules - $20.00
2 Progesterone In Oil vials - $12.00

My total amount that I plan to spend on IVF medications after insurance coverage is $2,079.00 after shipping. It's still so much money, but I'm thankful that my doctor will allow me to order from overseas.

IVF Consult completed; 1 month until we start our first IVF cycle!

I had my phone consultation with Dr. Michael Grossman at CNY Fertility Center this morning. He told us we can start with my period in January. I have to call them with my December period to start doing the necessary blood tests and ordering my medication. I'm beyond excited! He answered all of my questions and was super nice. He did say I could choose to transfer two embryos if I wanted, and I can choose to do a fresh transfer, although he does recommend 1 embryo and a frozen transfer. We'll make those decisions when the time comes. He was very realistic about our chances, especially with the severity of our male factor. I can't wait to start the process. I have to call the financial team when I get off work at noon today to discuss those aspects of the process, but it looks like I'll be able to borrow the rest of the money needed from a family member so I don't have to do any financing. I'll continue to update the blog with any new news. Hoping for an October 2018 baby!!

My Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy Experience

Yester I had laparoscopy and hysteroscopy surgery. The hysteroscopy foxed the septum in my yetis so I’m good to go now. The laparoscopy did fine endometriosis on my uterus, vaginal wall and appendix. He said my appendix was starting to get inflamed so he went ahead and took it out. The surgery went ok. I had a scary recovery because I couldn’t breath good at all and they almost made me stay overnight. I’m just super sore and bruised up. I was also very nauseas and threw up several times from the anesthesia and pain medicine. But I’m feeling some better today and I hope to go back to work on Monday.

Pre-Op Appointment Is Completed

I spent almost 2 hours yesterday with my RE and the hospital lab to complete all of my pre-op requirements. We are cleared and ready for surgery on November 16 at 12pm. He's very optimistic about being able to completely fix the septum in my uterus and clean out any endometriosis that he may find.

He reviewed DH's latest semen analysis and was encouraged by the results. He did of course say that IVF with ICSI is still our only option and that he still recommends that we have a vial of donor sperm back up just in case DH's sample that day does not have any motile sperm. He said I should be able to do IVF 2 months after surgery, so I'm hoping to start in January.

I don't plan on using my RE for IVF because, simply put, his prices are more than we can afford. I have a phone consult with Dr. Grossman at CNY Fertility in New York on December 1 to discuss doing IVF there. Even with travel and increased monitoring costs, we will still save anywhere from $7,000-10,000. I'm hoping to do all required pre-IVF testing by the end of this year and hopefully do my retrieval by February.

We Have Sperm!

So we received DH’s results today and he has 800,000 sperm per cc. He’s obviously super excited. I thought I would be, but I actually had a really tough time with it. Now I have to wait a very long time for my baby because ivf is so expensive. It just really sucks. I’m SO tired of waiting. I want my baby now.

Final Semen Analysis

DH's doctor allowed up to move up his final semen analysis since he has made it past the 72 day mark and he's really ready to stop Clomid. We have scheduled his test for tomorrow, so we should get the results back on Friday. I'm super nervous, just because I'm really hoping there's either 0 sperm or a lot of sperm. I don't want there to just be one or two again because we won't be able to move on as easy. But I will most likely just update this post with the results once received.

Well that's a shock..

My DH decided last night to drop a complete surprise bomb on me and tell me he is now considering donor sperm IUI as our next option instead of embryo adoption. Previously he was COMPLETELY against donor sperm or several reasons. I was okay with skipping this option if that was what he wanted and I threw myself completely into the embryo adoption route. But now, I don't know what to do. He told me to start looking for possible donors and to see how much everything would cost. Obviously dIUI is cheaper, but it could take several rounds to work. I just really don't know what to do. I want to do the right thing for our family, not just what is the cheapest and easiest thing.

Fertility Doctor Consult #2

We had our consult with the local RE today. He was very nice and helpful. We did a 3D ultrasound and he discovered that I actually do NOT have a bicornuate uterus. Instead I have a septate uterus which can be fixed surgically. We have schedule my surgery for November 16th. He also thinks I most likely have some stage of endometriosis, so he will be doing laparoscopy surgery on the same day to correct that if that is the case. I'm not looking forward to the surgery, but once all this is fixed I'll be like a "normal" person, and I should be able to carry full term and avoid a csection hopefully.


He also added me to their waiting list for embryo adoption, but I still plan on using the clinic in Florida.

2nd Blood Work Results Are In

So today we received the results for DH's 6 week follow up blood work since starting Clomid. It was not very good. He previously had normal LH and FSH levels and borderline Testosterone (251). His levels now are extremely high FSH (21.3) and LH (30.7) with normal but still slightly low for his age Testosterone (437). I'll be sending these results to his urologist for his opinion. This doesn't give us much hope that his third and final semen analysis next month will be good...

Wishing November would just get here already

Not much is happening right now in our TTC Journey. DH is still on Clomid (50mg once a day) and is about to start his second month so we are 1/3 of the way done. We have mutually decided not to pursue a mTESE if his third semen analysis comes back with 0 sperm again. If it does show some sperm in the ejaculate, we will start freezing them to use for IVF.

As much as I try to be, I'm not very optimistic about the Clomid working, so I've started researching our other options. Of course, DH refuses to talk about them until he gets the final results back so I'm going at it alone right now. Our three main option if Clomid doesn't work are:

1. Donor Sperm IUI

2. Donor Embryo

3. Domestic Newborn Adoption

When we first got the news of DH's Azoospermia, he was completely against donor sperm. However, since going through taking the medicine, doctors visits, blood work, and the fact that we've already spent about $1,000.00 on a 10% chance of a baby, I think he's starting to come around to the idea. I've typed up a pros/cons sheet for each of the options. Obviously the biggest con/concern with donor sperm IUI is that DH feels like the child will grow up and ask why is she (me) my real mom but you're (DH) not my real dad. I personally prefer this option for selfish reasons, time and money. I know we can most likely do our first dIUI is January of next year which is just 4 months away, plus it should only be around $1,500.

Donor embryo is an option we both agree on, but I don't prefer this option because I would like to avoid going through IVF-type hormonal medications and it is roughly $7,500.00 at least. And of course, our last option is domestic newborn adoption. We both also agree with this option, but it is obviously the most expensive. Plus, DH and I are in our early 20s, and we fear that most birth moms will find us too young to raise a child.

So Basically right now all we can do is wait until November 20 gets here to do his third and final semen analysis. I feel like I might just go crazy before then.

*Edit: Since writing this we have decided that Donor IUI is not the right path for us. If Clomid doesn't work, we will be moving on to embryo adoption.

Second results are in!

As expected, there were 0 sperm in the second semen analysis. We will continue the Clomid and retest in November. On a side note, Disney World is as amazing as ever!!

We have started the fertility treatment process

We saw the male fertility specialist today and DH is now on 50mg of clomid a day for 3 months. We are doing a repeat semen analysis in the next week, and again in 3 months. We are also retesting his blood levels in 6 weeks. We are excited and hopeful about this new medicine. Fingers crossed!

Plan of action:

1st semen analysis was June 26, 2017 (Results: 1-2 non-motile abnormal shaped sperm)

1st blood levels check was July 17, 2017 (Results: low testosterone (251), normal FSH and LH)

Started Clomid August 18, 2017

2nd semen analysis will be August 28, 2017, should receive results on August 30, 2017

2nd blood levels check will be the week of October 2, 2017

3rd semen analysis will be the week of November 20, 2017

What do you do when everyone you know is pregnant?

I found out today that 2 of my friends are both pregnant with their third babies. It hurts more than anyone will ever understand. I feel like it's never going to happen for us. I'm so tired of waiting and hoping. I don't even want to be around them anymore and I know I'm not going to want to go to their baby showers or to the hospital to see their babies. It's not that I'm not happy for them.. I'm just really sad for me. I broke down at work when I heard the news. I'd give ANYTHING to be pregnant.

It's been a tough day..

DH and I celebrated a year of marriage this week. On our night of our anniversary I took a HPT just for fun and because I have a ton of cheapies under my sink. Go figure, a evapish line appeared a little out of the time frame. Now I know that's not a positive, but of course it got my brain wheels to spinning wondering if it could possibly be our miracle. Well, I took a FRER today and of course it was completely negative. The heartache came all over again. I appreciate people trying to encourage me and giving me hope that we'll have a miracle and conceive naturally, but they aren't the ones that end up crying every month when I get my period or when I have to see another negative pregnancy test for what seems like the millionth time. It literally breaks my heart.

DH is going to see the male infertility specialist on Friday to get a prescription for Clomid. We are also going to talk about doing a second analysis and possibly an ultrasound to rule out any blockages. I'll update after our appointment.

Finally getting a plan of action

DH and I spoke with a urologist a couple hours away that only specializes in male infertility. We felt really great about him especially compared to the previously urologist we saw a few weeks ago. He has suggested that we first put DH on Clomid through the end of this year to see if it can boost his testosterone and increase his sperm count at least to enough where we can do IVF/ICSI without a m-TESE. If that doesn't work we will then do a m-TESE and proceed with IVF. I feel good about this plan and I cant wait to start DH on the Clomid. Fingers crossed!

And the test results are finally in!

So the final results are.... Testosterone (251 - low), LH (4.8 - normal) and FSH (7.9 - normal). So now we're not for sure what our next steps are. I don't know if we should pursue hormone therapy or move straight to IVF with Surgical Sperm Retrieval. I'd obviously like to avoid the IVF process and expense, but I also really hate waiting so hormone therapy isn't exactly what I want to do either. We still have our RE consult on August 17, so we will ask him what he suggests we do next. We also plan on having a phone consult with a Urologist that specializes in male infertility and the mTESE procedure for Azoospermia.

Still waiting.. Cycle 13 has arrived

Cycle 13 arrived with a vengeance yesterday around noon. At least I was fully expecting it so I didn't cry this month. I was apparently right about my Ovulation day as I had a normal 15 day LP which is perfectly normal for me. It was a 29 day cycle which is also normal for me. We are still waiting on DH's test results and we are both about to go bonkers. Poor DH can't even sleep at night it's on his mind so much. I'll update this post if we receive them today. Fingers crossed...

UPDATE on 7/25 - The docot's office called and said all of DH's results won't be in until next week. Pretty bummed about that.  They did tell me that his testosterone was around 250 which is very low for his age.  That is usually indicative of high FSH which means non-obstructive azoospermia.  He's pretty upset about this as am I. We are waiting on the other test results to confirm this diagnosis.

Anxiously waiting for the test results

The doctor's office called yesterday and said they were waiting for 1 more part of DH's test results to come back and that they couldn't give me any information until it came in. They told me to call today (Friday) and see if it had come in and if not to try again Monday. We're SO nervous and just ready for some answers..

UPDATE - we did not get the results today so now we have to wait until Monday:(

DH is really struggling

I feel so bad for DH.  He's really having a hard time with all of this uncertainty.  Things have been really tense between us as we have different goals right now.  I just want a baby, I don't care where it comes from or who's genes are in it.  DH only wants to consider a 100% biological child of both of us.  It's really wearing on me as I really don't want to spend a lot of time and a whole lot of money on more tests and procedures on him when in the end we will have MAYBE a 20% chance of getting a baby if everything works out.  I want to just move on to donor sperm or embryo adoption.  We are still waiting on the results of his blood work which will tell us more about our options and if there's any chance we could even surgically retrieve sperm from him.  I just want a baby.

1st Infertility Visit Completed

We had our Urology visit today. Basically everything is correct anatomy wise, so the doctor ordered blood work for now. If it comes back normal then there is possibly a blockage, or if it is abnormal then he probably just isn't making much at all. It was pretty disheartening because the doctor said right now we couldn't even do IVF, so our only option would be adopting. We are looking into embryo adoption if we have no other options, so I'm doing some research on that right now. I feel so bad for DH, he was really upset. Infertility is the worst. We have the first consult with our RE on August 17th, so we'll see what he suggests as well.

Gotta love it when...

Your coworker tells you she's pregnant and she "wasn't even trying" and that she "really didn't even want a baby yet." I tried so hard to mask my emotions. She has no idea that I'm struggling with infertility, but it still hurt so bad. Now for the next 9 months I have to watch her be pregnant and happy while I'm over here going to doctor visits and just wishing a miracle would happen. I spent a few minutes crying in my office. I know life goes on but I wish it would slow down for me for just a little bit and let me "catch up."

First time in a year..

I ovulated on Friday (I'm assuming based on my typical hormone migraine I get when I ovulate) which makes me 3dpo today.  For the first time in a year I'm not stressing or obsessing about it at all.  I know there's virtually no possibility of us conceiving naturally, and while that sucks so bad it has actually lifted a weight off of my shoulders for now.  Now I'm just concentrating on DH's upcoming urologist appointment and our RE consult next month.  I'm also researching our possible options.  I wish I could be in my TWW because all I want is to have a baby, but for now I'm glad that some of the stress has been lifted.

First Visits Scheduled

DH and I have been doing better since I last posted.  Both of our immediate families now know that there are problems and they are willing to help as much as they can.  We set up his appointment with the urologist for July 17 at 10:45, and our first RE consult for August 17 at 10:30.  We may have to reschedule the RE appointment depending on what the urologist says/does.  DH is really hoping he can magically "fix" him and we will be able to have a child naturally, but I just don't see that happening.  We will see though, I'm trying to remain positive.  I think I'll be ovulating this weekend and this is the first time I haven't cared about it at all in the past year.  It's kind of nice actually.

Absolutely destroyed right now

DH's SA came back... there were zero sperm present. My OB has referred us to an urologist and then to a RE. We can't afford either at this point as DH doesn't have good insurance at all and the fertility doctor will be completely out of pocket. So for now, it looks like kids are out of the question for us. Hopefully in a few years when we can afford to do all the testing and treatments we can try again. I'm so glad we started young and we do still have time. I'm completely destroyed by this as I was certain it was me and that DH was fine. The worst part is we can't even just do an IUI at this point or IVF. We can't have our own biological kids and that's the worst thing I've ever had to hear.

Why do people try to "help"?

Having a meltdown at work because a family member sent me a song about "In God's Time" and said it made her think about me. I know she's just trying to help but it did the complete opposite. I'm so sick of hearing that. I'm a very religious person and always have been, but I'm so tired of hearing about how this will happen when God's ready for it to. I agree with that statement, but I don't want anyone to tell me that. It makes it even worse that I have a legitimate concern that I'll never have kids at all. TTC #1sucks so much because I really don't know if I'll ever get to be a mom. I'm just sick of people trying to help and telling me it'll all be alright. I've considered telling everyone I'm back on birth control just so they'll leave me alone and let me deal with this by myself. I don't want help I just want a baby now.

Starting the Fertility Testing

DH did his semen analysis this morning. We should get the results back from that next week. Also, I'm waiting to hear back from my doctor about what she wants to do regarding my pelvic pain, irregular cycles, and the fact that I'm still not pregnant even though she told me she felt certain that I'd be pregnant by the end of June. I'm fairly certain I have endo, and that really scares me. My mom had it very bad and had to have a full hysterectomy at the age of 30. I just want to get pregnant so bad. Right now I'm just scared I'll never have my own baby.

Trying to find peace

12 DPO today and still BFNs. Yesterday I did have a positive Wondfo. Like no squinting to see the line even though it was still faint. However, it didn't get that dark until after 10 minutes and I figured it was an evap. It apparently was because I had a BFN this morning. I'm trying to find peace in my situation now. Me and DH are planning a cruise for next November and I love planning trips so I'm able to divert my attention to that. He asked "but what if you're pregnant/we have a baby", but I told him we won't even think about that. If it happens then it happens but I'm tired of basing my life around that possibility. Yesterday was pretty tough, lots of tears and emotions. AF should be here either Friday or Sunday depending on how long my LP is this month. We're definitely taking a month or two off for now. DH's SA got rescheduled for Monday, so we won't know the results of that for a while. I'm just trying to forget it all and be happy.

Just need to vent

I had a BFN again this morning at 10dpo. Normally I'm not this upset, but I as SO sure this cycle that I was pregnant. I'm trying to hide my emotions from DH as he really doesn't understand, but this is so frustrating. I scheduled his sperm analysis for Thursday morning. I know it's going to be good results, and while that'll make me feel a little better, it's also going to make this even more frustrating because I ovulate every cycle and we always time BD right. I just don't understand how I'm not getting pregnant. We're young and healthy. If his SA comes back normal, I don't know how I'm going to proceed. I haven't had an HSG yet, so there is a chance that my tubes are blocked. I'm sure we'll schedule that for a few months later if this comes back normal. I do feel like I might have some endometriosis, but I just can't take off work right now to have the lap procedure done as I just took off to have both cervical cryotherapy and a cardiac ablation done within the past couple of months.

Our 1 year anniversary is in a couple of months. I really thought when we got married that I'd definitely be pregnant, and possibly already have a baby by then. It looks like I was wrong. I'm just so tired of trying and stressing. TTC has brought out the worst of my OCD. I can't not think about it. I deleted all of my apps yesterday in hopes that it'll help me quit stressing and I'll be one of those miracle people that conceive after deciding to take a break, but deep down I know I won't be able to completely forget about TTC. Even this blog reminds me of it. I've taken probably 10 tests just since Saturday. I'm wasting money that we could be saving for a house. I'm just sick of TTC. I just want a baby.

I know a girl that did a gender reveal this past weekend for her 3rd baby (that she conceived on her first month trying, just like the last 2). It was her 3rd girl, and of course she was not happy about it being that she wanted a son. I get that she was disappointed, but all I could think about was I'd give anything just for a baby. I don't care if it's a boy or girl, it doesn't matter to me. My DH wants a son so bad, but now even he says he doesn't care what we have anymore, he just wants a baby. Lord please give us a baby soon...

Father's Day sucked.

Today has been tough. Someone at church told my husband "I had hoped I could tell you happy Father's Day, but I guess it'll have to wait another year", and then looked at me like I was doing something wrong. As of today wasn't already hard enough. I'm sick of this. BFNs make me miserable and emotional and I can't do it anymore. Today I deleted all of my apps and I'm no longer tracking anything. I'll keep blogging somewhat, but I can't keep doing this to myself. It's miserable.

It's really starting to hurt..

It's really starting to hurt whenever I have to see a Facebook post of another person who "accidentally" got pregnant. Or someone who started trying around the sam time as me and they already have their baby in their arms. It's starting to hurt whenever people ask when I'm going to have one, and then when I say I don't know yet they say well it'll happen at the right time. I know people mean well, but this is pretty much the worst part about TTC. Trying not to get jealous over other people's happiness. Trying not to resent people and shut them out because they have what I want so bad. Up until now I've been obsessed over getting pregnant, but now I'm obsessed with wanting a baby. I never knew there was a difference until recently. I just want a family.

My Introduction

This blog is about me and my DH of almost 1 year. I came off birth control in July 2016 after having been on it (the shot and pill) for almost 5 years. October 2016 was my first regular ovulatory cycle. Since then I have had regular 28 day cycles with the exception of 2 random 36-37 day cycles in the middle. I've yet to have my first BFP. My husband and I have yet to start any testing, as we are waiting for our 1 year anniversary to pass. I decided to start this blog to help me redirect my focus from stressing about TTC and the TWW to doing something somewhat productive. Stay tuned for more posts.

A little bit more about me. I'm pretty young but I have a desire to have a large family. I'm a paralegal and I am considering going back to law school. I absolutely love Kentucky Wildcats sports, and I think about having a baby 24/7.